Dear Uterus, Sometimes I think what is causing me the most pain, is how everything happened, and not what happened.
I've told you before of the fear I have-- the fear that one day I'll have to be put under again, and the idea of it makes my stomach sink.
Today, due to unfortunate circumstances, I saw a lot of extended family members that hadn't seen me since it all happened.
It touches me to know that they worried over me, but every time they say "We're so glad you're here with us, after everything" I'm wrenched back to that moment, right before I went under when I realized just how bad things were...
When I begged them. "Don't let me die."
I taste the gas. I feel the panic, and for a moment, I'm there on the table-- alone.
The idea that everything can change in such a brief amount of time terrifies me.
Here one day... gone the next.
I could have been gone.
-Michelle
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