Dear Uterus,
What I'm about to say it going to sound to weird, but bear with me.
I think everyone should have a near death experience at least once when they are young-ish.
I don't want anyone to actually die. and I don't wish that pain on any family, but.. I kind of think everyone needs one.
I feel like I aged after all of that. Some of it not all good, but a lot of it feels amazing. Let's talk about the amazing today, maybe tomorrow we'll chat about the not-so-good.
For most of my life people have told me that I act older than my age. I had older friends, dated older guys, had a more 'adult' look on life even when I was in high-school. That's not to say I didn't still need some growing up to do. I had to have some heartbreaks, I had to have some life-struggles, but I came out better for them.
People have always been kind of surprised by my age. Especially the people who haven't seen me in person-- although most of them have seen pics so... I guess my wrinkles are showing early. I tell them I'm 25 and everyone is like.. holy crap... you seem to much older, so much more put together than I was at 25.
I don't necessarily agree all the time, but I'll take it.
After everything had settled down, I realized it drastically changed how I acted, how I looked at things, and how I want things to be in the future.
People always say "life is short". You understand what they mean, but you don't REALLY get it. Then in one hour you almost bleed to death, in one day you go from grocery shopping to being on life support, in one week you go from sitting on your couch to laying in an ICU bed.
Life is short. I get that now. I'm both in-love with the knowledge, and terrified of it.
Think about it. On Friday morning I got up- I was sore from the c-section, complaining about my aching uterus.. I ate lunch, pumped some breast-milk, went to the store for some groceries, and 19 hours after I woke up I was in the ER. 24 hours after??? I was on a ventilator and my husband didn't know if I was going to wake up.
Twenty four hours. What will you be doing in 24 hours?
When I say things have changed for me... it's encompasses so many things.
I worry less-- who needs that stress?
I hug my son more--probably too much-- pretty sure I’ll have a mental breakdown on his first day of school.
I’m more patient. The son is screaming, the car in front of me is driving slow… who cares? That one irritating moment is a blip on my timeline.
I wanted to graduate, buy a cute house in a great neighborhood and send my son to a private school with the best teachers. Now I think we should spend his younger years traveling to different counties, learning as we go.He might be homeschooled through elementary but he’ll be exposed to so many cultures…
Do you see my point? See where I’m going?
Life becomes routine for us. We wake up, we fix the kids breakfast, we go to work, they go to school, rinse, repeat.
So your clothes aren’t hanging up? You got them washed.
Your bed isn’t made? You’re going to sleep in it again anyway.
Take a moment, embrace it. Make it the best, because in 24 hours you might be dead.
-Michelle
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