Dear Uterus--
This ones a little late, I was up all day packing for a trip and up all night driving across two states.
Most people are excited when they are heading on a much- anticipated vacation. I'm no exception.
My feelings go a little deeper than that, though.
I need to break the cycle.
Every day since the day I delivered Surro Boy I have been living basically the same day. Wake up, heal, deal with emotions, and wonder what the next day will bring. Just when I thought that was healing and on the rise, this whole situation happened, and then I was back into, starting not just from the beginning, but from even further on. I was now recovering from two abdominal surgeries, I was recovering emotionally in a way I didn't have to after delivering the surro baby(ies). The I started physically healing and developed another complication...and I felt myself take a few steps back.
I came home to the same place that days prior had been somewhat of a murder-esque looking scene. The same place that I spent my last "day" with you.
It probably sounds odd, but in a weird way I feel like I'm living somwhere where someone died. Where you died, where the vision I had of the future me died... just lots of "ends".
So yes, I'm ecstatic to be going on this trip. I need to break the cycle.
-Michelle
This ones a little late, I was up all day packing for a trip and up all night driving across two states.
Most people are excited when they are heading on a much- anticipated vacation. I'm no exception.
My feelings go a little deeper than that, though.
I need to break the cycle.
Every day since the day I delivered Surro Boy I have been living basically the same day. Wake up, heal, deal with emotions, and wonder what the next day will bring. Just when I thought that was healing and on the rise, this whole situation happened, and then I was back into, starting not just from the beginning, but from even further on. I was now recovering from two abdominal surgeries, I was recovering emotionally in a way I didn't have to after delivering the surro baby(ies). The I started physically healing and developed another complication...and I felt myself take a few steps back.
I came home to the same place that days prior had been somewhat of a murder-esque looking scene. The same place that I spent my last "day" with you.
It probably sounds odd, but in a weird way I feel like I'm living somwhere where someone died. Where you died, where the vision I had of the future me died... just lots of "ends".
So yes, I'm ecstatic to be going on this trip. I need to break the cycle.
-Michelle
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