Day 27

Dear Uterus,

I want to preface this by saying that I do not write this post to trivialize in any way people dealing with breast cancer. With that said... I will continue on...

Today I had to write an essay for my Human Sexuality course in college. I was given a few topics to choose from, one of them regarding the sexuality of breasts. It asked a very specific question, "If, as a woman, you had to undergo a radical mastectomy, would you feel less sexual/desirable?"

I won't make you read my entire response but I will give you the cliff notes version.

My answer today is very different than it would have been a month ago.

A month ago my two concerns were producing breastmilk and getting into my bathing suit before summer vacation. I am not exaggerating that at all, and they both had some (or all) to do with my breasts.

If I would have had to have my breasts removed, I would have done it. I would have hated it while being thankful for being alive at the same time. I would have immediately started looking at costs of implants. I would have hated that I looked like a boy. All of these, I think, are valid reactions.

Now, after this... I could do it. I'm not saying I would love it, but I could do it. I cant look at the cost of a new uterus. If people saw me they wouldnt ask "hey, why are you flat chested?" But people will ask me "when are you having your next baby?"

Further... I am learning with every say to.accept this. Learning that I am every bit of a woman as I was before, despite my lack of uterus. If this happened to me, today, I would already be in that process.. learning to accept a new me.

-Michelle