Dear Uterus,
It's a new month and I haven't written in about a week, so I figured I probably should.
I'm still recovering from surgery, and still in complete limbo on knowing whether or not it worked. I'm desperate to know one way or the other so I can either plan my next step or jump for joy.
I started off writing every day because I needed it. Eventually it went to every 2-3 days and now we're about once a week.
Tonight I needed to write.
Everyone is pregnant or having babies.. and I love it. I also hate it.
It's so confusing.
There are days when I want to block everyone that even mentions pregnancy, and days that I think all the pictures give me hope.
The only ones that don't bother me, are the surrogate pregnancies. Despite everything, I still love those. Yes, there is a twinge of pain when I see a bump, but I think I'm slowly growing used to the idea that I'll never be pregnant again.
I had three pregnancies, and I ROCKED them.
Surrogate pregnancies are easy because they don't take the baby home after.
I want to take a baby home. I want to experience that again. I feel cheated.
I am madly in love with Cody and every day he becomes a little more independent and needs me a little less. I want to hold on to him forever because I may not ever get the chance to hold on to another one.
I don't know how women deal with this for years. I can't even imagine dealing with it for another month.
-Michelle
It's a new month and I haven't written in about a week, so I figured I probably should.
I'm still recovering from surgery, and still in complete limbo on knowing whether or not it worked. I'm desperate to know one way or the other so I can either plan my next step or jump for joy.
I started off writing every day because I needed it. Eventually it went to every 2-3 days and now we're about once a week.
Tonight I needed to write.
Everyone is pregnant or having babies.. and I love it. I also hate it.
It's so confusing.
There are days when I want to block everyone that even mentions pregnancy, and days that I think all the pictures give me hope.
The only ones that don't bother me, are the surrogate pregnancies. Despite everything, I still love those. Yes, there is a twinge of pain when I see a bump, but I think I'm slowly growing used to the idea that I'll never be pregnant again.
I had three pregnancies, and I ROCKED them.
Surrogate pregnancies are easy because they don't take the baby home after.
I want to take a baby home. I want to experience that again. I feel cheated.
I am madly in love with Cody and every day he becomes a little more independent and needs me a little less. I want to hold on to him forever because I may not ever get the chance to hold on to another one.
I don't know how women deal with this for years. I can't even imagine dealing with it for another month.
-Michelle
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