Number 1: "There are worst things that could happen."There are. I lost my uterus. I could have lost my uterus and my life. I could have lost my uterus while skydiving, landing on on someone's campfire and getting 1st degree burns... it could be worse. I know that. However, right then, in that moment-- it feels pretty damn crappy.
Number 2: "Trust me, having more then one isn't all it's cracked up to be."
Or just a plain "having kids isn't that great." Says the person who has 2, 3, 4, or 5 kids. You had a choice. When I become a millionaire I'll make sure to tell you having buckets of cash isn't really that great.
Number 3: "Clearly God has another plan for you."
I'm sure you don't mean to be insensitive, but what your just told me is: "God doesn't want you to have children/ any more children. He doesn't care what you want. He thinks you should feel void and alone for ever."
Just lost your job? Have no idea how you're going to pay your mortgage? Clearly, God has another plan for you.
Number 4: "Well, at least you already have one child."
Having a child doesn't take away the pain away when you find out you can't have more. It doesn't mean that that child is loved or valued any less. There is a lot of emotions that come into play-- a lot of things you have to accept. The choice was taken from you and you have to re-envision the life you planned.
Number 5: "I know how you feel, I..."
Unless that sentence ends with, "can't conceive" or "lost my uterus", stop right there. Just stop. Would you go up to an amputee and say, "I know how you feel, I lost a hat once..."?
Number 6: "You should just adopt." OR "Well, use a surrogate."
The last time you conceived, was your ability to procreate based solely on the your bank account?
Surrogacy can cost upwards of $100,000 dollars. Adoption can be both financially and emotionally expensive. There is no "just" in either of those scenarios.
You want a new car? Well, just go get one.
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