Dear Uterus,
It's been awhile since I've written-- 3 months in fact.
I stopped writing because I was doing a little better. The things that I experienced were still painful, but they didn't consume me like they once had.
Occasionally I'd think about writing something, but something else always came up and it just didn't happen.
So, let's do a quick recap.
I had the hysterectomy on 06/06/2015.
5 Weeks later, I woke up and realized I was "leaking"
By the next day I realized it was Urine. (bleh!)
I went to two OBs and a Urologist.
They decided I was incontinent and we had surgery to fix a bladder prolapse. (My bladder was falling into places it shouldn't be.)
Because I have amazing luck, my outpatient surgery on October 14th, 2015 turned into a 2 day hospital stay. A week later I took my catheter out and discovered that I was still "incontinent".
No one wants to be incontinent, but at 25, and after everything I had been through-- that was depressing.
On February 2nd of 2016, I finally was able to see the Urologist again. I told him all my thoughts and he decided to perform a test to see if I had a fistula (a hole that forms between two things that shouldn't be there). The test was NOT COMFORTABLE. At first he didn't see anything and just when he was about to think of another test, the scope spotted what I knew was there all along.
I did have a fistula-- caused by yet another error from the OB who missed the holes in my uterus.
On February 3rd I went in for a semi-emergent surgery. When I awoke they informed me I'd be staying a little longer because they had to go in through my abdomen to reach the issue.
I went home two days later with a new scar in place of the one from the hysterectomy, and a 14-day catheter.
2 weeks later I took that sucker out--- and no more urine.
For the first time in 7 months I did not have to wear a diaper. Something that no 25 year old person should ever say.
I'm still sore-- obviously-- but I feel better. I feel like finally, almost NINE months after my hysterectomy-- I'm done with it all.... or at least the physical side of things.
Today I spoke to another lawyer.
I wanted a second opinion-- I wanted validation that I was choosing the right thing to let it go (legally, at least). Again I was told that I had a winning case. I was injured. The doctor did wrong. It was horrible. Again I was told that I fell into a gap. I didn't sustain anything so traumatic as to make me not walk or be unable to work, so I wouldn't even make back the money I spent winning the case--- by winning the case.
So-- physically, and legally I'm moving on.
Emotionally-- it still stings. It's very much like a sunburn. It doesn't hurt me all the time, but occasionally something brushes against it and reminds me that it's there.
I need emotional aloe-vera.
Love, Michelle
It's been awhile since I've written-- 3 months in fact.
I stopped writing because I was doing a little better. The things that I experienced were still painful, but they didn't consume me like they once had.
Occasionally I'd think about writing something, but something else always came up and it just didn't happen.
So, let's do a quick recap.
I had the hysterectomy on 06/06/2015.
5 Weeks later, I woke up and realized I was "leaking"
By the next day I realized it was Urine. (bleh!)
I went to two OBs and a Urologist.
They decided I was incontinent and we had surgery to fix a bladder prolapse. (My bladder was falling into places it shouldn't be.)
Because I have amazing luck, my outpatient surgery on October 14th, 2015 turned into a 2 day hospital stay. A week later I took my catheter out and discovered that I was still "incontinent".
No one wants to be incontinent, but at 25, and after everything I had been through-- that was depressing.
On February 2nd of 2016, I finally was able to see the Urologist again. I told him all my thoughts and he decided to perform a test to see if I had a fistula (a hole that forms between two things that shouldn't be there). The test was NOT COMFORTABLE. At first he didn't see anything and just when he was about to think of another test, the scope spotted what I knew was there all along.
I did have a fistula-- caused by yet another error from the OB who missed the holes in my uterus.
On February 3rd I went in for a semi-emergent surgery. When I awoke they informed me I'd be staying a little longer because they had to go in through my abdomen to reach the issue.
I went home two days later with a new scar in place of the one from the hysterectomy, and a 14-day catheter.
2 weeks later I took that sucker out--- and no more urine.
For the first time in 7 months I did not have to wear a diaper. Something that no 25 year old person should ever say.
I'm still sore-- obviously-- but I feel better. I feel like finally, almost NINE months after my hysterectomy-- I'm done with it all.... or at least the physical side of things.
Today I spoke to another lawyer.
I wanted a second opinion-- I wanted validation that I was choosing the right thing to let it go (legally, at least). Again I was told that I had a winning case. I was injured. The doctor did wrong. It was horrible. Again I was told that I fell into a gap. I didn't sustain anything so traumatic as to make me not walk or be unable to work, so I wouldn't even make back the money I spent winning the case--- by winning the case.
So-- physically, and legally I'm moving on.
Emotionally-- it still stings. It's very much like a sunburn. It doesn't hurt me all the time, but occasionally something brushes against it and reminds me that it's there.
I need emotional aloe-vera.
Love, Michelle
